Long Time

It has been such a long time since I last updated. I went to Ethiopia, and became AmaraRose's mom on November 28. I still do not know when I get to pick her up. The wait is terrible!



Ethiopia was amazing. It was truly a fabulous experience. I really tried to take t all in, and am only now am able to process what I saw. There was such saddness and joy, poverty and abundance. The people there are able to make do with so little, and I look at my life and the waste I occur and it really is a sin. I tried many different foods there. They actually gave you so much that you had to leave some, which made me feel even worse.,



I traveled East to Awash National Park. It was exactly like what you would expect if you watch National Geographic. I was sitting in the middle of this great land and thought to my self, "Holy Crap, I'm in Africa!" There were beautiful waterfalls, rivers, lakes, mountains, volcanoes and plateaus. Ethiopia is sooo Beautiful!

The drive east shown so many different types of life, from mud huts to fancy marble hotels, cities and small villages. It was truly inspiring to see the vast contrary of life.

The city, Addis, was definitely a city. There was so much poverty amixed with nice hotels, hotels and restaraunts. The driving scared the crap out of me, people were coming every which way. It was crazy how there would be many lanes of traffic, with goats crossing the street and people walkin everywhere. It was soooo big, I only saw a piece of the City, I hope to see more when I go back. I plan to travel to the south, and see the town AmaraRose is from - Assella. I also plan on seeing more animals, ie hippos and primates. I saw a lot of different birds and deer in Awash.



I got to spend a few hours with Amara. She is truly a beautiful gift from God. I didn't know how I would feel about her, but the moment they put her in my arms, I was in love. My first thought was " I would jump in front of a bus for you" She is a very quiet mellow baby. She didn't cry once while I was there. Nothing seems to bother this child. Her nannies said she is a very mellow little girl. I can not wait to get her home as soon as possible and give her all the love I have to give.

This part of the waiting is so unbearable. I feel as thought I left my heart in Africa. I am only a shell, until she comes home I feel like I am only going through the motions right now.

I'm sure I'll write more soon, but this is a start. Sorry it took so long.

Great News

One more week and I Leave for Ethiopia, how absolutely exciting! I also found out that I passed my preliminary hearing yesterday, and to make things so much better my Mowa Letter is already there! Things are moving along so well. I can't believe how unbelievably happy I am.

6 weeks!

I just got my tickets. I am leaving in 6 weeks to meet you. Your grandma is coming with me to see you. I got an update on you today. You are growing so much. You are 25 inches long and 14 pounds. You are growing so much, I just can't wait to see you. I think about you all the time and already love you so much!

Court Date

i have a court date for November 28th, I think I am leaving on Thanksgiving. What a Blessing!

Referral

Yesterday was the day. I accepted a referral for a beautiful little girl. Her birthday was June 4, 2011. She is absolutely beautiful and I am completely overjoyed. Her name is Demitu. I decided to keep her name as a middle name. Officially her name is Amara Rose Demitu Butler. Her birthday is also my grandmother's birday. She helped raise me, and passed a few years back. I am so completley thrilled. I wish I could post pictures but I can't yet, but I have to say that she is the most beautiful baby ever. This is the day I have been waiting for since December of 2009. Praise the Lord I am a mom!

Sad Day

Tuesday I spoke with the agency and this little baby I was hoping to receive a referral for passed away, It is so incredibly sad and difficulth. I have been praying for that poor little dear. There isn't much more to say at this time.

Moving on UP!

Yes, I moved up. I am number 2 overall and number 1 for an infant girl. I beleive(with fingers and toes crossed and multiple prayers) that my baby is waiting for me, and that I am only waiting on paperwork. There are moments of surreal anticipations, closing my eyes and imagining her, and moments of utter terror. Nothing feels real yet, but my hopes and dreams are alive and kicking. It could be any day, any moment. It could be tomorrow or next month.

For those who have not been through the adoption process, there is immense waiting. there is waiting for paper work, waiting for approvals, fingerprints, Social Workers (those damn Social Workers ha ha), and then waiting to move up the list, waiting on others' great news, waiting for a phone call. Then, once that call comes, I get to wait for a court date, wait for a letter, wait for an embassy appointment. There is a lot of waiting. A lot of anticipation and a lot of heart break. This is just the way it is. I know that God had a plan when he called me to adopt. When he cho( yes he chose ) Ethiopia ( I just happened to agree ). I know that some of my faults have been to have little patience and to be a control freak. Well over the last 18 months I have learned patience, and have learned that there is so little I have control over.

I've learned a lot of lessons. I've grown a lot and I'm grateful for every moment, every opportunity and every one in my life. I believe that, and that is all I know.

I Won't Let Go - Rascal Flatts T

This is my promise to you, my darling little girl, whom I know I am so close to seeing you for the first time. I feel you and I love you already.

Maybe June

I spoke with the agency on Friday. There are a few infants they are waiting for info on, and hopefully by June I should have a referral. I'm trying to stay calm about it and not get too excited until I actually have a referral. Hopefully soon!

Third Day - Follow Me There - Lyrics Another Great Song by Third Day

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2?

Some great news,

I just read another family's blog. They received a referral for an infant girl on Friday. What this means for me? I am number 2, although of course I haven't confirmed this officially, but they were number 2, so this means I have moved up two spots. I guess I won't be sleeping much in the next few weeks hoping my call will come soon.

YEAH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

"Children Of God" - Official Music Video seems fitting today

Blessings

In all the crazyness of the last few weeks, I forgot what was important. I am so crazily blessed by my family and friends. I know this adoption is my journey, but I am not on it alone.

My mother, with whom is so wonderful, retired two years early just so her grand daughter will never have to go to daycare. She heard that the children of Ethiopia are deficient in iron and eggs were the best way to help them, so three weeks later she had 6 chickens so the baby will have free range organic eggs. This of course does not counteract the five million crocheted, sewn and otherwise crafty projects she plans on making.

My family is so supportive. My aunt Cindy can not wait to have a little one on their farm. Her and my uncle Bill are special ed teachers (retired) willing to help with anything needed. She has also begun sewing pillowcase dresses for Africa.

My cousin Shelly is so crazy about this baby she is constantly buying things and looking into and learning about Ethiopia. Her 6 year old daughter wanted to tell the Ethiopian Prime Minister on the petition how much she cant wait for her cousin to come home. Shelly is coming to Ethiopia with me on one of my trips.

My best friend Jodi plans on coming with me as well on one of the trips.

My friends and family are already learning about AA hair, as I am petrified on doing hair. My work is so excted that not a day goes by where people aren't asking and praying for me.

There are so many other stories I could write about, my heart is so full.

I know this will work out. This little girl with be my daughter, but she will also be a Butler, and that is a pretty great thing. I really am Blessed. I know it will work out the way it is meant to, I feel a peace I haven't felt in a long time. God is on the side of these beautiful children, and I know he sent me on this journey for a reason. I give all my anxiety to him and pray for all to work out, as so many praying as well.

God's Grace

For whatever reason, I woke up this morning feeling more at peace than I have in the last week. God sent me on this path for reasons beyond my own grasp. I woke up believing that everything would be ok, so that is what I'm going with.

Starting this process was a leap of faith, continuing this journey is what I am meant to do. I know that once my precious little baby is in my arms in my home, all this stress will seem like a distant past. God has graced me, and I continue to feel his Grace each and every day.

Keeping the Faith

I have been panicking more in the last few days than since I started the adoption process 14 months ago. I am soooo scared that there may be a chance that this MOWA reduction of letters from 40 to 5 may happen,which could lengthen the time between referal and court to a year or more. In my heart, I have to believe that God would not let children stay in an orphanage any longer than necessary, especially if there are loving homes just praying for them to come to, so today, I have to keep the faith that these rumors are just that, rumors.

I sure hope my agency hears something soon so I can just be excited.

Possible movement?

I spoke with my agency yesterday and they have stated that they expect a great number of Referrals over the next two months, which is very exciting, however, not all the news was great. There is an announcement that MOWA has stated they would reduce the number of approval letters for court from 40 to 5 a day, which could extend the wait time from referral to court to up to a year. At this point I can only pray that this does not follow through, and my agency and other agencies are trying to get a meating with MOWA scheduled.

God sent me on this journey at the time that he did for a reason. The child meant for me is somewhere waiting for me, as I am waiting for her, I only hope I do not have to watch her grow up 8000 miles away.

Yesterday I became so disheartened by all of the blogs I have been reading and the negativity and rumors that seem to be so out of control, that I deleted myself from their lists, and now only belong to my agencies' blog. I hope that this will help alleviate the un-needed stress that these angry people have caused me, and can focus on what is important, becoming a mommy,

No Changes

So it's been a while since I posted. No changes have been made in the referrals. I am still number four, yep number four. A little disappointed to say the least. I really hope that this will be the last Christmas I had without my daughter. I am still so anxious to meet this little girl who will be the most important person in my life until the day I die. I am anxious to hold her and get to know her, to see her face and experience her life. Some day soon I hope.